A few weeks ago I started doing the dreaded Paleo diet, because I was turning 30 and felt I wasn’t living a GOOP enough life. I didn’t think I would be able to do the diet, however, unless I could snack on a lot of green juices (see: GOOP aspirations), so I borrowed my sister’s juicer, as she is a school teacher and has not nearly enough time to waste on this labor-intensive activity.
In addition to being a well-respected teacher, my sister is also something of a Paleo guru, in that she has gone on the diet to great effect and generally knows what works and what doesn’t. (“Effect” in this case meaning both feeling healthy and losing a few pounds, JUDGE ME.) She gave me a very strict regimen to follow for 10 days, which involved eating only vegetables, protein and, when one is very desperate, a handful of almonds.
“But what about wine?” I asked her.
“Oh, wine is fine,” she said.
That seemed wrong somehow.
“Well, red wine. Red wine and vodka are okay when necessary.”
Hmm, ok. I was skeptical, but who was I to question the rules of this already seemingly nonsensical diet? Plus, I figured cutting carbs would do enough on its own. I don’t drink much vodka these days, having wildly overconsumed it from ages 18-25, but given that it was one of two types of alcohol I was now permitted to drink I figured it couldn’t hurt to experiment a little. One day I had some extra green juice left over from one of my many juicing sessions, and I decided to see how the two mixed. You know what? It wasn’t bad. It was actually quite refreshing. So much so that I’ve since made it on purpose. Plus, I figure that this is as healthy as cocktails get. Is it healthier than drinking no vodka at all? No. Is it healthier than drinking vodka straight? Absolutely. Greens are always healthy.
Makes 2 cocktails
1 large cucumber
2 stalks celery
1 big hunk of ginger, peeled
Big handful of mint
Juice of half a lime
Two shots vodka
Several large ice cubes
Additional bourgeois necessities: A semi-heavy duty juicer
Dump all the vegetables, mint, and lime juice into the juicer. Combine with vodka. Add ice. Drink.
*I originally tried this beverage with kale, but it was kind of gross. Feel free to experiment as you wish.