Illustration: Tram Nguyen
Let’s talk baby names. I’m not pregnant, nor do I plan to be any time soon. (Can you hear that *creeaaaakkkk*? That’s my empty womb calling out to you.) I am at that age where everyone I know is either popping out babies or just about to make that leap, so the topic of what to name a child has been on the forefront of my mind lately. Every so often, I like to run an up-to-date list by Lucy, just to get a rise out of her. (Some recent candidates: DRose, Theory, and the letter “K”. All of these would work equally well for a boy or a girl!) After Lucy asks what the hell is wrong with me and voices concerns about the welfare of my hypothetical children, I usually reconsider.