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Ron Artest Ice Cream Cake

cake fail web

illustration: tram nguyen

 

The best Valentine’s day I ever had was spent at a gay sports bar in Chicago with two of my best friends watching the NBA All-Star game. You probably wouldn’t have known it was a gay sports bar, save for the fact that there were figure skating Barbies adorning the display cases and what looked like high school boys wrestling in spandex unitards on the flat screen televisions. My guy friends weren’t particularly interested in the game beyond critiquing the tragic business casual ensemble that Alicia Keys chose to wear during the half-time show. (In case you’re wondering, the more appropriate outfit to wear would have been a sparkly basketball jersey with “KEYS” bedazzled on the back and some bitchy high heels.  Duh.) About an hour into the show, my boyfriend Romeo showed up and I was in heaven, surrounded by the people I love, the sport I love, watching my favorite basketball player Derrick Rose perform dazzling feats of athleticism.

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Boozy Mexican Hot Chocolate

Spicy Spiked Hot Chocolate Pen and Palate

illustration: tram nguyen

 

I spent New Year’s Day curled up on the couch cultivating a nice hangover and enjoying my favorite winter pastime, which is binge-watching television, specifically IFC’s new French zombie series Les Revenants (which is better than it sounds). Every 55 minutes or so, however, I was forced to emerge from my couch cocoon to find the next episode on a shady illegal streaming site with a humanoid pot leaf as its corporate logo. To pass the time while waiting for each episode to load, I could not help but mentally replay the events of the previous night at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party.  I’m generally a pretty happy drunk and I had a great evening, but at some point over the course of the night my true (jerk) colors came out.  Did I really accuse that lovely woman, a friendly acquaintance that I’ve had maybe half a dozen conversations with, of having white privilege simply because she had the audacity to enjoy Lost in Translation? My closer friends didn’t get off easily either. I also recall accusing one buddy of being “the biggest misogynist I know” and “racist”, both of which are patently untrue.

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Christmas Mocha Cookie Crisps

christmas mocha cookie crisps

illustration: tram nguyen

 

What is up with America’s national obsession with “Christmas cookies”?

It only recently occurred to me to wonder. I was discussing this with Tram, like, “duh, we should do a Christmas cookie post,” and she was like, Okay, sounds good! “So… can you explain to me what the deal with Christmas cookies is? Is there a religious reason?” (Ha! As if any Christian holiday traditions are based on religious reasons.)

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